contraceptives and tattoos

hey ya'll
well, i just finished writing an interesting paper....about all the different types of contraceptive there are out there. i am in awe. and slightly disturbed. wow, the joy of being in nursing. the ironic thing is that when i go to present this paper next week, i will be the one informing all my classmates about contraceptives. i find this ironic because i'm pretty sure i'm one of the only ones in that class that hasn't needed/wanted to use such things. they probably all know everything there is to know about this subject, and i have no clue (well, i do now, thanks to our marvelous library at school). sorry if that was gross or way too much information. believe me, it was the highly censored version. so, let's talk about something else.

after my bad mood day on sunday, the week has been going pretty well. tuesday was my bday, and it was nice. i had a midterm in the morning, but i think it went well. then i worked till 8 that night. it was pretty awesome cause this dog came in that had been hit by a car. as much as i feel bad for the animals in those situations, i really like all the cool stuff we get to do. and it's even better on tuesday nights cause there aren't many people working so i get to do some pretty neat things. so that was work. then i came home to a housefull of people. wow. surprise. my mom couldn't believe that i wouldn't have a party on my 21st birthday, so when i said i wans't having one, she took matters into her own hands. it was really awesome, though. good times.

can i rant about being old for a minute? if your answer was "no" then just skip this paragraph. 21 just seems ancient. i think i really liked being 20. i don't really remember being 19 (scary, but you know what they say about degenerating brain cells and age). ah well, everyone keeps telling me that i am now officially and adult everywhere in the world. vegas, here i come....or not. that's a scary thought. i was complaining to tim the other day and he said just to wait, cause your age changes every year. so true. i'm just afraid i'm gonna wake up one day and be 35 (GASP). now, that's ancient.

which brings me to anoter interesting thought. when i'm a grown-up (like mature and stuff) or (as my mother keeps bringing up) when i want to get married (i know...GROSS) am i going to wish i didnt' have tattoos? who knows. but i think that i won't...i hope not. i was thinking about it alot lately, and i realized that when you get something like that done, it just becomes a part of who you are (physically and in your overall identity). i was thinking about when i'm old and wrinkly. since i work with alot of old people, sometimes i picture them covered in tattoos and what i would think of that. but i think that our generation is different; there will be lots of older people with strange stuff all over their bodies. sorry if that didnt make sense. oh, just a funny image for you to picture. think of my grandma (she is very proper, and tiny. like 4 and a half feet). now picture her with tattoos and peircings and stuff. wow, it just doesn't work. i just kept thinking of that.

so that's about it for now. thanks for tuning in :D

songs

i love how songs can so easily put into words and feelings exactly what i'm going through sometimes. when i can't figure out how to describe what's going on in my life, there is a good chance that someone has already written a song about it.

the most relevant line from a song that i could think of right now for me is a david gray song
"please forgive me if i act a little strange, for i know not what i do. feels like lightning running through my veins..."
or damien rice's song
"and so it is, just like you said it would be, life goes easy on me, most of the time.
an so it is, the shorter story, no love, no glory. no hero in her sky"

i had an interesting day yesterday. mostly just the evening. do you ever get into weird/bad moods and just don't know why? that was me yesterday. i'm going to blame it on the snow. winter is blah.

but sometimes life just gets blah too. we get stuck in a rut. and sometimes we are happy there. sometimes we don't even know we are in a rut.

if i put a downer on you day yesterday, i'm sorry. thanks for the hugs girls (gail, cheryl, jasmine and everyone else who took pity on my pitiful state). and sorry if i punched you (wes). sometimes i forget that i'm used to hitting my siblings, and you guys might get the brunt of it. lol. i think i need a punching bag or something. ben is gonna get beat up really bad one of these days.

so in all my strange ramblings (which actually did make me feel slightly better), i think i'm realizing that life sometimes just is the way it is. make the best of it, right? thank goodness for me, some people actualy write happy songs too. maybe my next entry will be a little more uplifting.

gallstones

so, i am now an official expert on gallstones. ugh. i spent my entire day writing an essay on the stupid things. heck, i could even do the surgery to remove them, and your whole gallbladder, if you wanted me to. i was also looking at pictures on the internet of gallstones (just cause i'm gross) and i wanted to post one on here, but they were all pretty disgusting. i thought some people with weak stomachs may never return to my blog if i did that. so, you're welcome for not helping you lose your last meal.

in other news....there really isn't any other news. except that i slept on one side of my head last night and then didn't really comb my hair this morning (cause i was home all day). then i went to the school for a few hours this evening and when i got home i realized that i had really bad bed hair in the back. it was awesome.

sore

another weekend has quickly passed. but luckily for me, my weekend extends until friday. you gotta love those stat holidays and pd days. the thing i don't love is when my teachers realize that we have a bunch of days off and give us lots of stuff to do. ah, well, that's life.

so my weekend consisted of alot of eating, watching tv, swimming, sitting in the hot tub, and eventually snowboarding. my family went to canmore this weekend. it was very very nice to get away. and do pretty much nothing all weekend. my sister and brother in law (the dreaded in-law...lol) came along, as well as a friend that we grew up with in africa. we had some good times.

and then came yesterday. the day we decided to go snowboarding/skiing. now, you have to understand that i grew up in a country that never saw snow. let alone enough to snowboard on. so this was my first time. everyone i told said i would spend the entire time on my butt. it's true...i did. well, my butt, my back, my head, my shoulders...my wrists took alot of beating too. but luckily for me, i have a very patient sister, and lots of padding on my bum and pretty much everywhere else. i learned alot, especially how to get up. it was fairly frustrating though. you just get going, then you wipe out. or you just get standing up again and realize that your board is moving and you aren't, which leaves you face-planted in the snow. but all in all, i learned lots and will attempt to not make such a fool of myself next time.

i was trying to think of something profound to say about getting up when you fall down. but just thinking about all the times i had to get up makes me tired. so i'll leave it for now.

change {or not}

alot has happened to me since "the can" as i will lovingly refer to it. my most exciting news is that i am engaged. for those of you who didn't know i was even dating, don't worry, neither did my parents. i like to surprise people. keep them guessing. i'm also contemplating going goth. i'll work on that one a bit.

on another note, my good friend cheryl also had a baby (i think). she is the happy mother of a pair of beautiful pyjama pants and some tensor bandages. from what i've heard, it was a safe and relatively easy delivery and both mother and clothing garments are healthy and enjoying life.

and i officially realized that my favorite reason to watch horror movies is because i get to cuddle with gail and jasmine. wow.

ok, now to be serious. if you don't believe any of what i previously wrote, don't worry, the whole weekend sort of caught me by surprise too. it's funny how life can change so quickly.

i was thinking about life (again) [i think i just use that phrase cause it makes me look contemplative or something else smart]. anyways, kinda thinking about living in other people's shadows. i find that i tend to do that alot. or trying to live up to other people's expectations. i live my life for what other people will think. or even living in my own shadow. to explain, i think that i have built up a picture of myself in other people's eyes, and now i just need to keep living that life. but sometimes i get sick of being the same old me. i sometimes want to do something new and very un-Donnaish. but then i think that being rebelious is very Donna-like, so maybe i should be boring. but then i'm just boring and everyone gets bored. so i'm stuck. maybe the solution lies in the fact that the only shadow we need to live under is what God thinks of us. which could be really scary, or it could be really comforting. after all, God knows every thing about us. what scares us, what makes us want to cry, what makes us want to dance and sing. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

so in all of this, i'm just trying to say that i'm gonna try and work on not conforming to what the world expects of me. i'll see how long it lasts. :)

and you never shine in my shadow {stabilo}

if it was up to me i'd never look both ways before crossing the street
if it was up to me i'd never wear my seatbelt and i'd probably still speed
if it was up to you i would never swear around people i'm supposed to respect
if it was up to you i'd keep in touch with friends from the past even though they never last
if it was up to you i'd always say my prayers before i ate and before i went to sleep
if it was up to you i'd be happy and write songs that made you happy too

but i can't seem to care much for these things that you call life, so you'd better come quick

and i don't want the topic to change, but i could never tell you to your face that i'm only pretending to enjoy this place
it's only make believe and it's mostly in my head
but the problem is that we only guess where we go when we finally rest
will it be better than where we are now
still i'd like to believe it's better than here, better than where we are

we've forgotten what we're here for, or maybe we never knew

PS: keep Tim in your prayers. He's almost done with YWAN and travelling back to S.Africa soon.

can can

no explaination required