change {or not}

alot has happened to me since "the can" as i will lovingly refer to it. my most exciting news is that i am engaged. for those of you who didn't know i was even dating, don't worry, neither did my parents. i like to surprise people. keep them guessing. i'm also contemplating going goth. i'll work on that one a bit.

on another note, my good friend cheryl also had a baby (i think). she is the happy mother of a pair of beautiful pyjama pants and some tensor bandages. from what i've heard, it was a safe and relatively easy delivery and both mother and clothing garments are healthy and enjoying life.

and i officially realized that my favorite reason to watch horror movies is because i get to cuddle with gail and jasmine. wow.

ok, now to be serious. if you don't believe any of what i previously wrote, don't worry, the whole weekend sort of caught me by surprise too. it's funny how life can change so quickly.

i was thinking about life (again) [i think i just use that phrase cause it makes me look contemplative or something else smart]. anyways, kinda thinking about living in other people's shadows. i find that i tend to do that alot. or trying to live up to other people's expectations. i live my life for what other people will think. or even living in my own shadow. to explain, i think that i have built up a picture of myself in other people's eyes, and now i just need to keep living that life. but sometimes i get sick of being the same old me. i sometimes want to do something new and very un-Donnaish. but then i think that being rebelious is very Donna-like, so maybe i should be boring. but then i'm just boring and everyone gets bored. so i'm stuck. maybe the solution lies in the fact that the only shadow we need to live under is what God thinks of us. which could be really scary, or it could be really comforting. after all, God knows every thing about us. what scares us, what makes us want to cry, what makes us want to dance and sing. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

so in all of this, i'm just trying to say that i'm gonna try and work on not conforming to what the world expects of me. i'll see how long it lasts. :)

and you never shine in my shadow {stabilo}

if it was up to me i'd never look both ways before crossing the street
if it was up to me i'd never wear my seatbelt and i'd probably still speed
if it was up to you i would never swear around people i'm supposed to respect
if it was up to you i'd keep in touch with friends from the past even though they never last
if it was up to you i'd always say my prayers before i ate and before i went to sleep
if it was up to you i'd be happy and write songs that made you happy too

but i can't seem to care much for these things that you call life, so you'd better come quick

and i don't want the topic to change, but i could never tell you to your face that i'm only pretending to enjoy this place
it's only make believe and it's mostly in my head
but the problem is that we only guess where we go when we finally rest
will it be better than where we are now
still i'd like to believe it's better than here, better than where we are

we've forgotten what we're here for, or maybe we never knew

PS: keep Tim in your prayers. He's almost done with YWAN and travelling back to S.Africa soon.