life down here

VISITOR

2007-02-23T14:07:00.000-08:00

"I'll wear my badge...
a vinyl sticker with big block letters adherent to my chest
That tells your new friends I am a visitor here...
I am not permanent"

i was listening to this postal service song the other day. it always makes me think of how we as christians are only visitors or strangers in this world.
i was also over at my highshool the other day. i really had an awesome time in junior and senior high. lots of crap that i had to go through...along with every other teenager....but the people there were awesome. lots of good times. so anyways, my friend shelley and i went back to visit some of our teachers. we had to sign in and get these "visitor" badges. as we were leaving, shelley nearly forgot to give hers back and i said something about us only being visitors and how someone should write a sermon about that.
so, here is my sermon. just kidding. mostly just my thoughts on this world. in a paragraph. lol.
its funny how much work and effort we put into the things of this world. i know that there is a certain amount of stuff that we have to do to survive, but, and i know this from personal experience, i could be working on better stuff most of the time. why do i automatically store up for myself treasures on earth?
i constantly need reminding that this world is temporary. it won't last. what i do for God and heaven is what really matters. easily said, not so easily done.
also, as strangers, i think that we are supposed to act differently. not in the annoying touristy way. with cameras and souviners and such. but in a way that makes people realize that we have something better, a hope of somewhere better.
i know this is randomly written, but it's kinda good to think about. i think especially in our teenage years, we spend so much time trying to fit in. or, as i've heard, trying so hard to be unique, just like everyone else. we forget about eternity and sacrifice it for temporary satisfaction.
maybe we need to help each other remember why we are on this earth, and that we won't be here forever. don't get too comfortable.

newest member of my family

2007-02-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

I have a new friend!! heheh. he's pretty cute, but kinda shy....likes to hide.

yeah, i'm a geek. i got a chameleon on sunday. and i love him. i'm not actually sure if i'ts a male or female (apparently you can't tell when they are that young....aren't you glad it doesn't work that way with humans.....lol). i haven't picked a name yet, i'm referring to him as my little man right now. or whatever comes to mind when i see him.

yeah, that's about all the exciting news for now. it's nice and warm out right now, so i'm happy. perfect for snowmen and snow fight...hmm.

well, have a great weekend guys. see ya'll soon.

blah

2007-02-07T12:26:00.000-08:00

as the title states, i feel blah. boring, bored, meh....whatever.
not that life is bad or anything, i just sometimes have blah days. it also doesn't help that i had today off and instead of doing something productive, i watched about 4 episodes of smallville. now i have nothing to show for my day. oh well. and the oilers lost again last night...my life is pretty much over...lol.

i finished my rotation at the hospital yesterday. as much as i enjoyed it, i defnintly am glad to be done. i was talking to another girl in my class and we were saying how it's funny how we wish our lives away one course at a time. it seems like we are always counting down the days until we are done the next course. how much of our lives are we missing out on?
it's funny cause i do that alot...count down days. i've even written about it before. how i have this tendancy to set my sights on a goal a week or a month ahead and then ignore the rest of my life until that point. sad, but true.

so now what. i like to complain, but never do anything about it. i'll see if i can go get inspired somewhere. maybe i need to go outside for a while...that always helps. i'm laughing to myslef right now because if you are reading this, you are probably thinking that my life is really boring and not only that but it's so boring that the exciting part of my day is to write down how boring it is. wow, i'm bored.

lol. i'm let you know how my search for inspiration goes.

many surprises

2007-01-31T08:44:00.000-08:00

well, the biggest news of all is that my brother is home. yeah, go figure. i thought i had another few weeks of tim-free time, but no, he decided to come home early. and not tell anyone. lol. actually, it was probably one of the best surprises i've ever had. i got home from the hospital just after 11 on monday night and guess who pops his head (literally) from behind the door? it was pretty amazing. hasn't really sunk in that he is home, but it is really awesome to have him here.

yesterday i spent my shift at the hospital in labour and delivery. probably one of the most amazing experieces i've had so far. i won't go into detail because i know that some of you have weak stomachs, but it was incredible.

well, that's my life for now. :D

methadone and immunizations

2007-01-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

hey all,
well, it's been a while...again. life is pretty good. i was at a retreat this weekend, as many of you know because you were also there. i don't know about you, but i had a pretty good time. it was mostly really good to get away from the city for a while and just relax. i purposly didn't take any homework, so i didn't have to think about that at all. sometimes it takes just getting out of the same old every day routine to make you realize what life is about. this weekend i realized how fortunate i am. God has really blessed me in more ways that i know. He is truly good.
and i wanted to remind myself about joy. my parents asked me what the topic was, and i told them "joy", and that was it. but it was so much more. our joy as christians is something that can almost not be explained. it is reassurance and hope. the knowlege that someone else is in control. i'm hoping that my life will somehow be different because of what i heard the last few days. i'm not going to ask for suffering because i'm too much of a wuss, but i do know that it's not up to me in the end. i can rejoice in suffering (or so they say...we'll see :D)

today was quite interesting. it started at 5:15 when my alarm went off and i realized that i really needed more sleep. again. monday mornings always seem that way. i spent my morning at AADAC downtown. learning about drug addictions and how one group of people is treating them with a drug called methadone. it was actually pretty cool. the point of the morning was to open my eyes to one of the options that i might want to pursue as a nurse. man, i you want lots of incredibly job opportunities, be a nurse. it seems that every day i find some new thing that i could do when i grow up.

in the afternoon, i was out at a clinic following a child health nurse around. she was mainly doing assessments and giving immunizations to babies. it was cute. but man, can those kids scream. wow. i was impressed.

so that was my day. full. i'm tired now.

hope that you all had a good weekend. count it all joy.....

cold

2007-01-11T13:34:00.000-08:00

i'm cold. as usaul. but at least it's sunny out. and it's supposed to warm up soon. i hope.

well, my life is fairly uneventful...still. this is an orphan kitten at work. he and his brother (named black and dekker by jasmine) are looking for homes. i love them, but hate cats when they get older.

it's pretty bad when i write an entry about a cat. wow.

oilers are doing alright, so that's awesome.

i've decided that this winter one of my goals is to make either one huge snowman, or many little snowmen in the bonnie doon shopping circle. i drive by it every day. it's so huge and untouched. so yeah, it will be fun....

horizons

2007-01-04T13:07:00.000-08:00

so, sometimes life throws curveballs, hey? and sometimes all we can do is hope to learn from them. but God is good.

i was listening to some teagan and sarah and some of there lyrics stuck out to me. and no, i'm not saying that they apply to my life, but they kinda made me think about life and how we chose to live it. "when your love lets you go, you only want love more. even when love's not what you were looking for. speak slow"
" i don't think we have to be like this forever. is there more to life than love and being together. you went away"
"Go ahead, try to figure out what my future looks like. I don't want to live my life like a story; i was thinking i could have been something. just found my way, now let me be. i feel fine, i move on. there's something so dividing, don't worry about me, i'll be fine. don't live your life for me or for anyone. you live your life as if you're one. it's quiet, it's aweful quiet. don't live your life like a movie. don't live your life for me or for anyone"

hmm. made me think.

and thus begins 2007

2007-01-03T08:30:00.000-08:00

hey guys,
well it feels like forever since i updated this....although it actually hasn't been that long. it just seems like lots is going on in my life.
so, i'm back to school today. we were told to be here at 9, but then found out that our classes don't actually start until 11. i shouldn't be surprised, this always seems to happen on the first day of classes with the nursing program.
do you guys ever go through stages in your life where you feel like something big is about to happen? i kinda feel like that now. i can't really figure out what it is, but it is scaring the heck out of me. sometimes the world seems so big and i feel so small and not in control. i guess that's why God is so important. maybe i'm just growing up. with school and stuff i am realizing that i am changing. looking back to a year ago, i can see so many differences in who i am and who i am becoming. it's scary, but good, i think.
i've also been having some wake up calls about how lucky i really am. i have an amazing family. and right now one of the things that i have been really appreciating is the awesome group of friends i have. sure, we go through our problems, but i know that we will be there for each other. it's pretty neat to see each other grow. i look foward to the days to come.
well, i'm pretty tired right now, so i'm gonna go find a couch to nap on. see ya'll soon. oh, and happy new year :D.

holidays

2006-12-27T09:20:00.000-08:00

Hey all,
well, merry belated Christmas. hope you all had good days with people. and it's almost the new year....crazy.
well, my christmas consisted of lots of food, some naps, playing games and, of course, presents. it was pretty nice. different from other years cause my brother wasn't here. but we got to have some friends and my grandparents over, so that was pretty cool. and i think we set a record for longest time it took to open presents. we started at about 8:30 and didn't finish till after 1. it wasn't that we had more presents this year, we just decided to take our sweet time. it was awesome. tim also called during the morning, so we all got to talk to him for a while.
another thing that made me super happy was that it rained here. i know, some of you might call it slush, but i'm calling it rain. it reminded me of my growing up years where we didn't have snow on christmas, just rain. pretty neat.
i'm also really excited because i got a camera for christmas, so i will be taking many, many pictures, many of which will end up on here.

my parents and i went to see "the nativity story" yesterday. it was really nice. (by nice i mean it wasn't awesome, but it made me think, and yes, i was very close to tears a few times). it didn't help that my mom was crying beside me. anyways, it was about the birth of Jesus, but from the point of view of mary and joseph. definitly opened my eyes to what they might of had to deal with in that situation. if you need a movie to take your parents to, this is it.

well, i'm almost positive that i will have another post today, as soon as i figure out how to download my pictures onto my computer. but for now, i'm done. see ya later.

road tripping

2006-12-22T19:56:00.000-08:00

hey all.
well, i'm a tad bit tired right now. i just got back from a little road trip. it was very much fun indeed. got to do some interesting stuff, meet some really nice people and hang out with other people that i haven't seen for a while.
we went down to calgary for our first leg of the trip. found some pretty cool tobagganing hills and skating places. i decided that i don't mind calgary. as much as i have previously hated it, it really isn't that bad. it is strange going into a new city and not knowing where the heck you are or where you are going. fortunaly for all of us, i wasn't the one driving.
so that was calgary. we also saw a pretty cool movie "prestige". i would for sure recommend it if you like thinking about stuff.
last night involved creating an igloo under a trampoleen. it was awesome. we ended up using actual chunks of packed snow. we felt like real eskimos (or at least i did for a little while). we put some hay on the ground and even had candles going to give us heat and light for a little while. then to sleep we went. it was beautiful until i woke up. i had borrowed one of my parents' sleeping bags. not only is it like 30 years old, but it isn't water proof. and not terribly warm, i realized. but it was worth the experience.
and today was mosltly filled with sleeping, or dozing. i love having no school do to. it is truly an amazing feeling. and i think i'm finally getting into the christmas spirit. my sister and brother in law are staying at our house until christmas. as much as i complain, it is really nice to have them around for a while. family is pretty cool. they all have their quirks, but that's what makes each family amazing.

sorry their are no pictures on this post. i'll hopefully get some soon and then i can share some of the good times i've had over the last few days. see you all soon. and merry christmas.

hmm

2006-12-18T16:47:00.000-08:00

well, it's been a while, so i thought i should add another post. unfortunatly, nothing exciting has really happened in my life. i finished exams last thursday, that was amazing. so i'm free for a little while.
i'm trying to get into the christmas spirit, it just isn't happening yet. i am finished my shopping, so that's nice. i realized that i love buying stuff for people. it really makes me happy.
well, sorry, this was even more boring than i thought it would be. maybe i'll have more to write about later. for now, merry christmas.

done classes

2006-12-07T11:35:00.000-08:00

the end is in sight. i think. as of 5 pm yesterday, i am done classes for this semester. and this time next week i should be almost finishing my last final. woohoo. i just spent the last 4 hours studying and getting a bunch of information together to study, so i'm kinda going crazy. but all is good. i'm lucky. i only have 2 finals and a skills test. all of which should go alright.
i really have nothing exciting to say. i just needed a break from my pregnancy studying (yeah, try reading about that for a couple of hours and not going slightly wacko). again, i would post some pictures about what i've been studying, but i don't really think that you would appreciate them.

i'm fairly happy right now because it isn't really cold out. in fact, i'm thinking i'll go wash my car. i really want a clean car for saturday's banquet because i have a really hot date (wink wink).

i also got to babysit some adorable kids last night. anna and julia. wow, talk about precious moments kids. we had some good times. wathced alice in wonderland. i hadn't seen i for a while. but i am more than possitive that the guy who wrote it was on some serious drugs. it is completely crazy and unexplainable. why anyone would want to make it into a children's book/movie is beyond me. i sat through the whole thing hoping that anna wouldn't start asking me questions. cause i didn't know why the cheshire cat disappeared then turned into a moon. to be honest, it's kinda creepy. but they enjoyed it, so that's all that matters.

other than that, life goes on. see you all soon.

ode to tim

2006-12-04T12:54:00.000-08:00

so, it's tim's birthday today. 19 years old. happy bday little brother. it's strange that he isn't here. we usually wait till just after his birthday to put up our christmas tree, but who knows what is going to happen now. it actually doesn't really feel like christmas time to me. maybe after i finish finals and actually get some shopping done.

it feels like forever since i last wrote in here. i guess not too much exciting stuff has happened. or i've been too tired to sit down and write what's going on. but mostly i think that my life is just boring. i have this picture from some day when i was bored. do you ever get those days when you just take pictures of yourself to see what you look like (dumb question, cause i know that most of you do...lol). yeah, it was one of those days. the hat also reminds me of jeff's hat from survivor....good times. and my face is well....how i'm feeling. slightly confused with life but mostly just really out of it. :)

i also found this cute picture of kidogo. she puts up with so much from me. wow. what a dog. although, the evil glare in her eyes is only partly because of the crapy lighthing. deep down she is really thinking that she wants to rip me apart but she won't becuase she will probably get a treat for wearing the santa hat.

well, maybe something exciting will happen to me at work and i can write about it. otherwise, we'll see how life goes.

contraceptives and tattoos

2006-11-23T09:30:00.000-08:00

hey ya'll
well, i just finished writing an interesting paper....about all the different types of contraceptive there are out there. i am in awe. and slightly disturbed. wow, the joy of being in nursing. the ironic thing is that when i go to present this paper next week, i will be the one informing all my classmates about contraceptives. i find this ironic because i'm pretty sure i'm one of the only ones in that class that hasn't needed/wanted to use such things. they probably all know everything there is to know about this subject, and i have no clue (well, i do now, thanks to our marvelous library at school). sorry if that was gross or way too much information. believe me, it was the highly censored version. so, let's talk about something else.

after my bad mood day on sunday, the week has been going pretty well. tuesday was my bday, and it was nice. i had a midterm in the morning, but i think it went well. then i worked till 8 that night. it was pretty awesome cause this dog came in that had been hit by a car. as much as i feel bad for the animals in those situations, i really like all the cool stuff we get to do. and it's even better on tuesday nights cause there aren't many people working so i get to do some pretty neat things. so that was work. then i came home to a housefull of people. wow. surprise. my mom couldn't believe that i wouldn't have a party on my 21st birthday, so when i said i wans't having one, she took matters into her own hands. it was really awesome, though. good times.

can i rant about being old for a minute? if your answer was "no" then just skip this paragraph. 21 just seems ancient. i think i really liked being 20. i don't really remember being 19 (scary, but you know what they say about degenerating brain cells and age). ah well, everyone keeps telling me that i am now officially and adult everywhere in the world. vegas, here i come....or not. that's a scary thought. i was complaining to tim the other day and he said just to wait, cause your age changes every year. so true. i'm just afraid i'm gonna wake up one day and be 35 (GASP). now, that's ancient.

which brings me to anoter interesting thought. when i'm a grown-up (like mature and stuff) or (as my mother keeps bringing up) when i want to get married (i know...GROSS) am i going to wish i didnt' have tattoos? who knows. but i think that i won't...i hope not. i was thinking about it alot lately, and i realized that when you get something like that done, it just becomes a part of who you are (physically and in your overall identity). i was thinking about when i'm old and wrinkly. since i work with alot of old people, sometimes i picture them covered in tattoos and what i would think of that. but i think that our generation is different; there will be lots of older people with strange stuff all over their bodies. sorry if that didnt make sense. oh, just a funny image for you to picture. think of my grandma (she is very proper, and tiny. like 4 and a half feet). now picture her with tattoos and peircings and stuff. wow, it just doesn't work. i just kept thinking of that.

so that's about it for now. thanks for tuning in :D

songs

2006-11-20T13:46:00.000-08:00

i love how songs can so easily put into words and feelings exactly what i'm going through sometimes. when i can't figure out how to describe what's going on in my life, there is a good chance that someone has already written a song about it.

the most relevant line from a song that i could think of right now for me is a david gray song
"please forgive me if i act a little strange, for i know not what i do. feels like lightning running through my veins..."
or damien rice's song
"and so it is, just like you said it would be, life goes easy on me, most of the time.
an so it is, the shorter story, no love, no glory. no hero in her sky"

i had an interesting day yesterday. mostly just the evening. do you ever get into weird/bad moods and just don't know why? that was me yesterday. i'm going to blame it on the snow. winter is blah.

but sometimes life just gets blah too. we get stuck in a rut. and sometimes we are happy there. sometimes we don't even know we are in a rut.

if i put a downer on you day yesterday, i'm sorry. thanks for the hugs girls (gail, cheryl, jasmine and everyone else who took pity on my pitiful state). and sorry if i punched you (wes). sometimes i forget that i'm used to hitting my siblings, and you guys might get the brunt of it. lol. i think i need a punching bag or something. ben is gonna get beat up really bad one of these days.

so in all my strange ramblings (which actually did make me feel slightly better), i think i'm realizing that life sometimes just is the way it is. make the best of it, right? thank goodness for me, some people actualy write happy songs too. maybe my next entry will be a little more uplifting.

gallstones

2006-11-15T22:28:00.000-08:00

so, i am now an official expert on gallstones. ugh. i spent my entire day writing an essay on the stupid things. heck, i could even do the surgery to remove them, and your whole gallbladder, if you wanted me to. i was also looking at pictures on the internet of gallstones (just cause i'm gross) and i wanted to post one on here, but they were all pretty disgusting. i thought some people with weak stomachs may never return to my blog if i did that. so, you're welcome for not helping you lose your last meal.

in other news....there really isn't any other news. except that i slept on one side of my head last night and then didn't really comb my hair this morning (cause i was home all day). then i went to the school for a few hours this evening and when i got home i realized that i had really bad bed hair in the back. it was awesome.

sore

2006-11-13T09:19:00.000-08:00

another weekend has quickly passed. but luckily for me, my weekend extends until friday. you gotta love those stat holidays and pd days. the thing i don't love is when my teachers realize that we have a bunch of days off and give us lots of stuff to do. ah, well, that's life.

so my weekend consisted of alot of eating, watching tv, swimming, sitting in the hot tub, and eventually snowboarding. my family went to canmore this weekend. it was very very nice to get away. and do pretty much nothing all weekend. my sister and brother in law (the dreaded in-law...lol) came along, as well as a friend that we grew up with in africa. we had some good times.

and then came yesterday. the day we decided to go snowboarding/skiing. now, you have to understand that i grew up in a country that never saw snow. let alone enough to snowboard on. so this was my first time. everyone i told said i would spend the entire time on my butt. it's true...i did. well, my butt, my back, my head, my shoulders...my wrists took alot of beating too. but luckily for me, i have a very patient sister, and lots of padding on my bum and pretty much everywhere else. i learned alot, especially how to get up. it was fairly frustrating though. you just get going, then you wipe out. or you just get standing up again and realize that your board is moving and you aren't, which leaves you face-planted in the snow. but all in all, i learned lots and will attempt to not make such a fool of myself next time.

i was trying to think of something profound to say about getting up when you fall down. but just thinking about all the times i had to get up makes me tired. so i'll leave it for now.

change {or not}

2006-11-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

alot has happened to me since "the can" as i will lovingly refer to it. my most exciting news is that i am engaged. for those of you who didn't know i was even dating, don't worry, neither did my parents. i like to surprise people. keep them guessing. i'm also contemplating going goth. i'll work on that one a bit.

on another note, my good friend cheryl also had a baby (i think). she is the happy mother of a pair of beautiful pyjama pants and some tensor bandages. from what i've heard, it was a safe and relatively easy delivery and both mother and clothing garments are healthy and enjoying life.

and i officially realized that my favorite reason to watch horror movies is because i get to cuddle with gail and jasmine. wow.

ok, now to be serious. if you don't believe any of what i previously wrote, don't worry, the whole weekend sort of caught me by surprise too. it's funny how life can change so quickly.

i was thinking about life (again) [i think i just use that phrase cause it makes me look contemplative or something else smart]. anyways, kinda thinking about living in other people's shadows. i find that i tend to do that alot. or trying to live up to other people's expectations. i live my life for what other people will think. or even living in my own shadow. to explain, i think that i have built up a picture of myself in other people's eyes, and now i just need to keep living that life. but sometimes i get sick of being the same old me. i sometimes want to do something new and very un-Donnaish. but then i think that being rebelious is very Donna-like, so maybe i should be boring. but then i'm just boring and everyone gets bored. so i'm stuck. maybe the solution lies in the fact that the only shadow we need to live under is what God thinks of us. which could be really scary, or it could be really comforting. after all, God knows every thing about us. what scares us, what makes us want to cry, what makes us want to dance and sing. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

so in all of this, i'm just trying to say that i'm gonna try and work on not conforming to what the world expects of me. i'll see how long it lasts. :)

and you never shine in my shadow {stabilo}

if it was up to me i'd never look both ways before crossing the street
if it was up to me i'd never wear my seatbelt and i'd probably still speed
if it was up to you i would never swear around people i'm supposed to respect
if it was up to you i'd keep in touch with friends from the past even though they never last
if it was up to you i'd always say my prayers before i ate and before i went to sleep
if it was up to you i'd be happy and write songs that made you happy too

but i can't seem to care much for these things that you call life, so you'd better come quick

and i don't want the topic to change, but i could never tell you to your face that i'm only pretending to enjoy this place
it's only make believe and it's mostly in my head
but the problem is that we only guess where we go when we finally rest
will it be better than where we are now
still i'd like to believe it's better than here, better than where we are

we've forgotten what we're here for, or maybe we never knew

PS: keep Tim in your prayers. He's almost done with YWAN and travelling back to S.Africa soon.

can can

2006-11-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

no explaination required

philosophical?

2006-10-30T22:51:00.000-08:00

so, i've been thinking. about stuff from church on sunday. and, in general, about how i act in my 'non-church' life. meaning, at school. most people that i know at school know that i'm a christian, and they seem to respect me for that. and i am comfortable with that. i'm happy to just think that it is good enough that i have told them i'm a christian, and leave it at that. but i think that being a christian means so much more than that. it means getting off our butts and actually doing something about life. doing something about all of the people that we know and care about who aren't 'going to heaven'. if we say we truly love God and truly love the people He created, how can we watch them slip away. i think it was wes who mentioned on sunday that Jesus asked peter if he loved him 3 times. but it didn't stop there. Jesus said "if you do, feed my sheep". meaning, get out of your comfort zones and do something about this love that you profess. i then went on to think about love some more. when you love someone, you want to tell people (or so i'm told). you don't just let that feeling sit inside you. you tell people, especially the one you love. you do things to prove your love. i know i'm babbling, but it's been on my mind all day. i was getting so comfortable with how my life was going. but then i realized that i'm doing nothing, or very litte, to 'feed His sheep'. it was a challenge to me, especially with my school people.

Jason Upton, a musical artist guy, has a song with some lyrics that i really like:

"somebody here is hurting
somebody here is broken
somebody here is waiting
somebody here is hoping
for love to come unlock every door
it takes you and me to open up once more
and learn to trust again

somebody here is searching
somebody's dreams were stolen
somebody's arms are reaching
somebody needs to hold them
for love to come unlock every door
it takes you and me to open up once more
and learn to trust again

i don't know where you come from
i don't know where you're going
i only know the healing starts when we all stop running"

i think this is pretty much applicable to every situation we may find ourselves in. things aren't going to happen unless we start them. we can't sit around waiting for change. we need to do it.

two hours of sleep

2006-10-28T13:55:00.001-07:00

why and how am i still awake??
mostly i've decided that i overthink movies way too much. it doesnt' help when you watch 2 scaryish movies in one night either. so we watched "the ring" last night. creepy. mostly it made me wonder why people do the things they do. the world can be a pretty messed up place. after finishing the movie last night, i came home to bed and lay there for an hour thinking about alot of stuff. including a well below my bed (thanks a bunch wes), blue burning bushes, and people' s head falling off. it's funny and amazing at the same time what a tired yet creeped out brain can do in the wee hours of the night.
so i then woke up 2 hours later to go to work. i'm surprised i didn't fall asleep. although there are parts of the morning that i don't remember really clearly. ah well.
and now i'm going to have a nap. we get an extra hour tonight :D

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

2006-10-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

well, i wish that i could write about something exciting. but it's been a normal boring week. school is good and busy. more work than i thought it would be, but it keeps me out of trouble, so that's good. work is work. i never feel like i'm really working cause i like being there. especially when i get to cut stuff up :D. sorry if you are eating while reading this.
so i started thinking about the little things in life that make me happy. like having music in my car...finally. i was only without it for a week, but i really missed it. i love good music. thanks to gail, my music horizons are broadening.
i really like sunny days. but i love rain too.
i like meeting new people and actually getting along with them. for one of my classes at school, you are put with 20 other people and you spend about 6 hours with them twice a week just discussing stuff. so you have to know them pretty well. i got put into a new group on wednesday, and i was really nervous about it. but it went really well.
i like hanging out with friends. a good rook or poker game. and occassionally a good scary movie. when i actually get into it and nearly jump into my neighbor's lap (thanks again gail).
i like knowing that i have a purpose in life, even if i don't know that purpose yet. just knowing that i am here for a reason.
i love puppies, and i love a good picture. i love it how pictures can bring back so many memories. a thousand words, as they say.
well, that's it for now. i recommend thinking about things that make you feel better. it helps. we are truly blessed and we rarely remember that. signing out.

from summer to winter

2006-10-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

we had fairly awesome lawn ornaments for a few days. my sister's and my cars had to be off the road because of lack of insurance, but their winter home wasn't quite ready yet. so they got to be our decorations for a few days. much to my mother's delight. things like this don't happen to normal families, do they? :)

my "new" car for the winter has many names. the "piece" the general lee, the rebel, the orange jetta. whatever works for you. as much as i like to make fun of it, i'm really enjoying driving it. i mostly like the reactions i get when people see my car and expect some guy to be driving it, then there i am, a girl, and barely able to see over the steering wheel. ahh, life is so ironic. i think i'll have lots of fun.

in other news, i got to talk to my brother for a little while on the phone tonight. he is doing well. tired. he said to say hi to all you people around here who know him. he is missing being here, but excited to finally be in what he calls the "real africa". he mentioned walking along a river and having to think twice about how close he got because there might be crocadiles in it. i think it excited him more than anything else.

again, i can't believe how fast this weekend went. another long week to get through. here we go. hang in there.

the journey

2006-10-22T00:30:00.000-07:00

so i was thinking about life today. i tend to do that sometimes. and i was reading my journal from a few months ago. i had written a line something like "let the journey become the destination".

now for an explaination for those of you who might not think the same way as me. i find that most of my life is spent looking foward to a goal i've set somewhere in the future. like the weekend, or christmas vacation, next summer or even when in "grow up". and sometimes i get so wrapped up in getting to that goal, that i forget that life is going on around me, all the time. i can get so focused on one thing that i am looking foward to that i miss out on so much happening right now. it was just a reminder to me that we don't always have to live for some event in the vague future. our destination can be a part of the journey that we find ourselves on each day.

so if that sounds crazy, i'm going to blame it on lack of sleep. i should be in bed right now, but i'm not. go figure.

i was also looking through pictures today and found this one. it is one of my favorites, mostly because it is a picture of the "reel me". groan. if you didn't catch it, it's a picture of my reflection in my fishing reel. i know i've been hanging out too much with my dad when i start making such jokes. sorry.

family

2006-10-20T00:15:00.000-07:00

family....sometimes you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

your family has seen you at your worst and at your best. they have been pretty much everywhere that you have been...at least for your growing up years. and they have shared more life experiences with you than you can remember.

for me, my family has been my constant. no matter how many houses or countries i lived in, no matter how many friends i had to say goodbye to, no matter how many climates i had to get used to....my family was always there to go through it with me.

sometimes we don't realize the blessings that are right in front of us. and sometimes it takes those people going away before we see how much they mean to us. right now, i'm wishing that i could give my brother a hug. but i can't. and i'm wishing i had done more hugging while he was around. i guess what i'm trying to say is, if you can, go hug a sibling. let them know that you care about them. i think that God made parents to nurture, love and teach us, friends to laugh and cry with us, and siblings to do a little of everything.

so, i'm getting mushy, so i know i should go to bed. another day, another dollar....or something like that. signing out for now.

finished

2006-10-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

So, another Wednesday that feels like it should be a Friday.
I have officially finished my first (and hardest) practicum for this year. And i must say that it feels very very good. But i will miss being at the hospital. some of my favorite times the last 6 weeks have been where i get to just sit with a patient or family member and talk about nothing in particular. i find that when we actually listen to people, the communication is a lot more meaningful. like the words of the old simon and garfunkel song that says "people talking without speaking, people hearing without listening". i challenge you to really listen to what people around you are saying, even if they don't say it out loud, we are always communicating. and when it is time to talk, make your words mean something.
a sad thing that happened to me today was just seeing a older gentleman come in and sit with his sick wife for a few hours. unfortunatly, she has dementia and alzheimer's and barely remembers him. even now, it hurts me to remember the way he looked at me and said "what a life, hey?". and i wondered if he was talking about his wife or himself. sometimes we just don't know where life is going to take us. those are the days when i am so grateful that someone else is more powerful and in control.
i also got to talk to my brother this morning. he is currently in ethiopia. i find that if i don't think about him, i don't miss him. unfortunaly, he has influenced my life so much, that it is hard to get away from all the things that remind me of him. but, he is doing well, and i believe that his is where he needs to be right now.

starting something new...again

2006-10-16T15:37:00.000-07:00

so, i'm starting this page. not really sure if i'll actually write in it. but it seemed like an interesting thing to do, so i'll try it out.
it's snowing, which is what i'll blame my complete lack of creativity on...at least for now. today i woke up and realized that i live in a country where it is miserably cold for most of the year...or at least what feels like most of the year. my car stalled today and then decided not to start again. that made for an interesting morning. and i realized it is just the beginning of winter...and all of the challenges that it brings.
well, that's about it for now. i'm realizing how boring my life can actually be. if you are reading this and bored, i don't blame you. i'll try and write about cool stuff that happens, but hey, i can only do so much. and some of the things that i find interesting might put you to sleep. so keep checking this out, we'll see where life takes us. :)